Loving Kindness
Loving-kindness meditation is a form of self care, even self compassion. Families of drug addicted kids in particular stand to gain from this practice. Repeating age-old loving phrases to ourselves strengthens our weary hearts and reminds us that we are connected to something greater and we are a true source of love and compassion. Saying the phrases to ourselves during moments of quiet contemplation or meditation reminds us of our innocence and our good intentions, of our own loving hearts.
The original name of this practice is metta bhavana, which comes from the Pali language. Metta means ‘love’ (in a non-romantic sense), friendliness, or kindness: hence ‘loving-kindness’ for short.. Bhavana means development or cultivation. The commonest form of the practice is in five stages, each of which should last about five minutes for a beginner. The first stage, you feel Metta for yourself. Repeating phrases or vows to yourself while you're grounded in your breath or your body. You start by becoming aware of yourself, and focusing on feelings of peace, calm, and tranquility. Then you let these grow in to feelings of strength and confidence, and then develop into love within your heart. You can use an image, like golden light flooding your body, or a phrase such as ‘may I be well and happy’, which you can repeat to yourself.
My daily practice involves Metta for myself. I haven't expanded out yet and I've been practicing for over a year. There is nothing wrong with that. Cultivating a genuine love for ourselves is necessary before expanding it to those we dislike and the world around us.
There are 5 stages of metta meditation and after sending the loving kindness phrases to ourselves, we can expand outward to more challenging individuals as follows....
In the 2nd stage of Metta think of a good friend. See them in your mind's eye. Feel them in your body. And repeat the statements for their benefit.
The 3rd stage of Metta, think of someone you do not particularly like or dislike. Your feelings are ‘neutral’. This may be someone you do not know well but see around. You reflect on their humanity and wish them well.
The 4th stage is challenging. You then think of someone you actually dislike — an “enemy”, traditionally— someone you are having difficulty with. Trying not to get caught up in any feelings of hatred, think of them positively and send your Metta phrases to them as well.
In the final stage, first of all you think of all four people together — yourself, the friend, the neutral person, and the enemy. Then extend your feelings further — to everyone around you, to everyone in your neighborhood; in your town, your country, and so on throughout the world. Have a sense of waves of loving-kindness spreading from your heart out into the world and universe, to all beings everywhere.
By doing Metta practice, miracles happen. You will feel your heart grow and you will feel more empathetic and loving to those around you. Even if you only stick with the loving kindness phrases for yourself
