A New Way to Love – Seeing Through New Eyes
Our children, even our adult children, need our love — no matter how lost they are in addiction, no matter how unloveable they feel, our love can be lifesaving. Sometimes, especially during the heated throes of our child’s addiction, that love is hard for us to express. All the more necessary for them to know it exists.
By talking to those who’ve been where our children are now, we learn about the inner turmoil and chaos ransacking their lives during their addictions. We openly discuss what it’s like with kids who’ve walked in the shoes of our own. Because we are not talking with our own children, we are more relaxed, less afraid, and find ourselves able to listen (and hear) these stories of the kids in recovery. Invariably, we see similarities with our own kids. We gain a new perspective on our own kids’ struggles.
Information and truth are antidotes to fear of the unknown. As we come to see the truth of who our kids really are, (rather than who we want them to be) doors open, communication begins, and miracles happen.
TruthTalksTM came into being when Barbara Lodge discovered that addiction had made its way into her family causing a terrifying divide between she and her child. In the news, and in her small corner of the world, young adults she knew and loved were dying of accidental overdose. Barbara became determined to find a way to re-connect with her young adult, whether he was using, or not. She refused to fathom the prospect of losing him with words of love unspoken.
And so she approached young friends in solid recovery and started asking questions like “what prompted you to try drugs in the first place?” and “what was going on in your life at that time?” To her surprise, these kids were enthusiastic to share their stories, answer the hard questions, and provide information.
It quickly became clear that by dialoguing with other young adults in solid recovery, she was able to gain empathy for her own child. And so she wondered, what would happen if she started running workshops for parents to talk with kids in recovery? She named these workshops TruthTalksTM
We learn so much from young adults in recovery. There is no room for judgement, hiding, or secrets. They hold the answers to all of our questions and deliver those answers in meaningful, easy to understand ways. Kids in recovery unlock our hearts to our own children and give us tools understand, care for, and love as well as we possibly can.