It’s no secret that over the past many years, the drug addiction epidemic has affected thousands of families. Yet, when we learn that addiction has crept into our own home, affecting our own children, we are shocked. For many of us, our initial instinct is to protect our family from the stigma of addiction and not ask for help. We believe “We will fix this, no one has to know.”

Isolated on our own little island we secretly try to love our children out of this struggle, we try everything from soft love to tough love to every kind of love….only to find ourselves increasingly tired, frustrated, and confused, “Doesn’t my kid know he’s loved? Isn’t that all he needs?  He’s hurting himself and us…. why can’t he just stop!?”

Things go from bad to worse and angry dialogues happen and doors slam. Tears and fears and rage and helplessness fill the rooms of our homes and what was once a calm life turns into a hurricane of our limitations crashing into our child’s.

Often we can’t see past the fear and anger. We lose hope and wonder why love can’t fix this. We try even harder yet we are repeating our old patterns and hoping for a different result.  

The raw truth is unfathomable: TO OUR KIDS, DRUG USE MAKES SENSE. Drugs have solved many of their problems such as getting better grades, playing better sports, being social, managing stress… Their substance use is motivated by the BENEFITS THEY PERCEIVE in using them.  In order to reconnect, we need to look deeper. We must get to the root of what’s motivating our kids’ drug use, and, somehow, EMPATHIZE with their struggles…..

We Must Think Outside the Box, and Take a New Approach. 

A New Way to Love – Seeing Through New Eyes

Our children, even our adult children, need our love — no matter how lost they are in addiction, no matter how unloveable they feel, our love can be lifesaving. Sometimes, especially during the heated throes of our child’s addiction, that love is hard for us to express. All the more necessary for them to know it exists. 

By talking to those who’ve been where our children are now, we learn about the inner turmoil and chaos ransacking their lives during their addictions. We openly discuss what it’s like with kids who’ve walked in the shoes of our own. Because we are not talking with our own children, we are more relaxed, less afraid, and find ourselves able to listen (and hear) these stories of the kids in recovery. Invariably, we see similarities with our own kids. We gain a new perspective on our own kids’ struggles. 

Information and truth are antidotes to fear of the unknown.  As we come to see the truth of who our kids really are, (rather than who we want them to be) doors open, communication begins, and miracles happen.

The Idea

TruthTalksTM came into being when Barbara Lodge discovered that addiction had made its way into her family causing a terrifying divide between she and her child.  In the news, and in her small corner of the world, young adults she knew and loved were dying of accidental overdose. Barbara became determined to find a way to re-connect with her young adult, whether he was using, or not. She refused to fathom the prospect of losing him with words of love unspoken.

And so she approached young friends in solid recovery and started asking questions like “what prompted you to try drugs in the first place?” and “what was going on in your life at that time?” To her surprise, these kids were enthusiastic to share their stories, answer the hard questions, and provide information.

It quickly became clear that by dialoguing with other young adults in solid recovery, she was able to gain empathy for her own child. And so she wondered, what would happen if she started running workshops for parents to talk with kids in recovery? She named these workshops TruthTalksTM  

We learn so much from young adults in recovery. There is no room for judgement, hiding, or secrets. They hold the answers to all of our questions and deliver those answers in meaningful, easy to understand ways. Kids in recovery unlock our hearts to our own children and give us tools understand, care for, and love as well as we possibly can.


So Why Wait?